The first mistake people make with dating is calling it a game, because it’s not. That’s what makes it so hard for people, both men and women to be secure and confident when going on dates or being in a relationship. My main rule is to always be truthful about your feelings and your intentions when entering a relationship. Even a friend with benefits relationship needs honesty and trust.
When people feel it’s okay to play games, they make it easier to hurt the other persons feelings. Take for example, I met this guy named A we talked all the time and eventually decided to start hanging out. He would come over to my house probably twice a week sometimes more depending on his work schedule. We would hang out, watch TV, and talk. We didn’t jump into sex, we just enjoyed each others company. The most we would do is kiss. The first time we had sex, it wasn’t planned at all. We were in my room watching TV like usually did, he leaned over and kissed me and then one thing led to another. Eventually we both decided that we wanted to have sex, so we did and it was good. It was something we continued doing every week. At first neither of us talked about a relationship because we were enjoying how things played out. We didn’t feel the need to rush into a relationship. It would happen in its own time.
In my last article I briefly mentioned a guy I dated named G. I’m going to share what happened with him. I knew G when we were in high school, he had a crush on me but I never paid any attention to him because I was focused on my school work. When the other girls in my class were busy having sex and then coming to school the next to share their sexual exploits, I was focused on turning in my Biology project on time and acing my French test. Now I wasn’t a nerd in high school or anything. I actually were one of the popular girls, everyone knew who I was, from teachers to students and even the security guards. I just had a plan, and I knew that plan didn’t entail chasing boys.
There’s this guy named P we met in 2011 through my sister. We hit it off immediately and we talked all the time. He called me during his lunch break, after he left work and again at night. But even though it looked like things were going great we were at a standstill. He never made the move to ask me to make it official and there are certain things I’m very traditional about, that being one of them. I didn’t feel like I should be the one who asked for it to go any further. So I waited, and waited and waited until eventually another guy came into the picture. G was so handsome and suave, he knew all the right things to say and he just swept me off my feet. So of course I ended up moving on from P because G didn’t hesitate to tell me how he felt and he let me know that he wanted a relationship. Throughout my entire relationship with G, P constantly told me how much he wanted us to have sex. (We had never had sex with each other at this point) But of course I kept turning him down because I was in love and I didn’t want to ruin what I had with G. So that was the end of P and I for now. I was happy with G until something so shocking and hurtful happened…but that’s for another post.